In reality, people don’t seem to read …

i.e. yesterday at the market we were selling “Dried Stinging Nettles.” There was a sign sitting in the basket with the bags of nettles that described in brief but sufficient detail what one would do with dried stinging nettles. I’d say at least 90% of the people who looked at the nettles, instead of reading the sign, asked me instead. That 90% of people is maybe 15% of people who looked at the nettles.

I think this is the same thing that would happen with the Forellenschluss romaine. Albeit the romaine was different because the people are used to seeing a plain green head of lettuce, where Forellenschluss is speckled. People see the alien-looking lettuce from afar and their automatic romaine lettuce profile says to them “that’s odd” and they don’t come in closer for a better look, or to ask a question and therefore the majority of people wouldn’t get close enough to read a sign.

I don’t think a sign would really help that much. It would need to say in big letters, readable from 5-10 ft away: “THIS IS ROMAINE LETTUCE JUST LIKE YOU SEE IN THRIFTWAY. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT EXCEPT IT IS SPECKLED AND NOT BORING PLAIN GREEN. IT IS A BETTER DEAL THAN THE WEEK-OLD, SMALL HEAD SOLD IN THRIFTWAY! AND ALSO SUPPORTS YOUR LOCAL ECONOMY TO BOOT!”

NOW BUY IT GODDAMMIT!